The Thing About Exercise...

I hired a personal trainer. I did it because I knew that I needed someone pushing me. It was really easy to say no to myself, but to tell someone else no, wasn't going to be easy. Linda, my personal trainer is an athlete. I think she probably has zero body fat, she has a degree in bio-mechanics (which basically means she knows what muscles do, what food does to your muscles, etc), and she is retired military. I like her because she is a hard working, dedicated trainer, who cares about me as a person. She knows my limits, when she can push me, when I need to refocus, get back on track. And she has a great sense of humor. She cares about me.

This past weekend, I went on vacation. I missed two training days. And I realized that exercise is going to have to be consistent and part of my every day life. While it would be nice to have a trainer every day to make me work out, sometimes, that just isn't going to be possible, and since I am taking my weight and my life into my own hands, then its up to me to incorporate exercise into my my weekly routine and it can't just be two days a week with my personal trainer. Somehow, I have to find a way to build it in to my own personal time.

I went back to working out tonight, and it was hard getting back into it. It was as if my muscles were failing me. I was tired, lethargic, unmotivated. Consistency, routine and discipline will ensure that I am successful. Exercise with or without a trainer has to be a requirement in my life now.

Becaus I am WORTH MY WEIGHT. And I don't settle.

I don't need you to tell me...

Today, someone visting our office referenced his assistant as his "chubby cherub". When said it sounded like a term of endearment. Then my boss said "He must be talking about you". I was hurt and angry. He, as he has done in the past, was drawing attention to my size. He is ignorant to what he says and how it affects others. And today, I stood up to him. Today, I asked why he would think that. I forced him to respond to his answer. It was uncomfortable because I was drawing attention not only to him, but to me as well. But I did it. No one has the right to belittle or demean others. NO ONE. We take it normally because to speak up would draw attention to ourselves. It would make us appear larger not only in size but just larger in the room. And larger, is something we don't want to draw attention to. We spend our time hiding. If we are going to live large, we might as well as live LARGE fully. If we are LARGE than it is okay and it is acceptable. Is it healthy? We know its not, but do we need others telling us what we already know? Do we need others paying attention to it? I am saying no to the community voice that makes obesity bad, or wrong, or unworthy of life's treasures. Yes, obesity is a disease that is killing many people. And yes, we need to do all we can to become healthier and stronger. But not for anyone else but for ourselves. There are a lot of people involved in the decision. Our family, friends, children, loved ones. The longer we stay around the more joy we can experience. But obesity should not be a dirty word, a RED LETTER, that allows people to be demeaning.

From this day forward, I am giving my all to myself, my WORTH. I am worth my weight in GOLD and I am not going to settle for less because I am a LARGE woman. I am not going to settle ever again. I will speak up against rudeness, prejudice, criticism. I am a People Builder, an uplifter, an encourager. I am my own voice, my own success, my own joy, my own person. I am a LARGE Woman. Larger than you know. So those of you who think you know how to help me lose weight, or feel the need to remind me that I am fat...watch out, because I am speaking up.

It's time to be a uplifter.