Exercise and Healthy Eating as a Way of Life.

I have been reading a book "Thrive" that writes about the top happiest cities in the world by evaluating factual data from surveys and statistics. Sponsored by National Geographic these places are called "Blue Zones" where people are fundamentally happier than anywhere else in the world. The book tells a story of the cities, introducing us to happy people. You might think that these people are rich, have great jobs, etc, but truth be told each has a life much like our own in many ways.

The author goes on to help outline some ways that we can improve our lives and THRIVE. One key point involved exercise. He suggests we make it a part of our lives rather than a forced necessity. Incorporating it might mean riding a bike to work, or walking to the grocery store. Depending on where we live this might be difficult, but is it possible to find new ways of doing the same routines?

If you have been reading my journey, you will notice that I started in steps. First a nutritionist for four months, then I added one 1/2 hour of exercise, then two 1/2 hours 2 days a week. Now I am swimming with the Masters Swim club one day a week, and just added another day with a 1/2 hour of boxing. I never belived a year ago that I would ever be able to do any of this. In small ways I am THRIVING.

Recently I travelled on a business meeting to a trade show. 12 hour days, junk food, no time to exercise. I came home exhausted, irritable and depressed. Was it any wonder? Never in my life have I been so in tune to my body and what it needs to thrive. Regardless of our size at this moment in time, our body needs us to make better choices. No matter how small, one good choice will lead to another.

Looking back I can tell you I went in dreading the thought of exercise. I craved sugar, chocolate and all things bad for me, and now I find myself wanting to do better because I now know how bad I feel when I make a bad choice. It's not a feeling of guilt, its rather a physical run down feeling. Why would I want to keep feeling that way? My only choice is to make a healthy one.

I consistently make bad decisions. I love food. For me I am learning its an addiction and I need to be more aware of my surroundings and why I make the bad choices. A harsh word from a boss, an embarrassing moment will bring out the worst of my eating habits and those triggers can come and go so quickly before I even know all that I have consumed.

One of my mentors/coaches suggested that when I have a bad day, try not to repeat it the next day. So one bad day, one good day. It may take a little longer but I think eventually I will have more good days and less frequent bad days. In the past, one bad day became a littany of conversations in my head about how fat I was, how lazy, how I would never be able to change. Its a goal I plan to work toward. It also makes it a guilt free process. I know I can get up the next day and start again. But its not "Starting over" its just part of the process. Get it? Got it!

BUILD YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK!

For four months I have been exercising, getting on the scale occassionally to see that I have not lost a pound. My trainer continues to tell me its not the weight to worry about right now, its the movement. The goal was to get moving. And I did. I feel lighter at times, but convince myself its all in my head. I realized I was not really following the recommendations of my nutritionist and it was time to get back on track. I also realized that I needed to find a mentor, a coach of some sort that could keep me motivated, offer advise, push me a little or alot as I went through this process. So I asked a member of the company I work for. She is an IRON MAN competitor, and was recently featured in an article in Canada about successful women entrepreneurs. I have always admired her, and new if she was willing that her support would be a well needed addition to my core support group. So I asked her. And she said yes. She lives in Canada, I live in the US, but we talk via email and will track the successes of our goals at conventions we both attend each year.

My first trip will be at the end of January where we both travel to Hawaii. What we do is simple. We email each other each day, our food and exercise diary. She helps me see areas that I need to change some habits. I haven't offered her much at this time, as she has it down pretty solid, but over the first three days what I have learned from her as been HUGE!

Truth is, I had not truly bought into the process. I am exercising, but I have been down right ignoring the eating. I didn't want to change the old ways. Looking at her meals for the day, I realized that while I am living to eat, she is eating to live. Her choices are better, healthier. She doesn't seem to be waiting for the next meal to come. And yet, she has a discipline, a routine in place where she knows what she is eating each and every day. Its imperative for her to have control over what she puts in her mouth. Its important because she has goals outside of food, yet affected by food. She wants to compete and win in IRON MAN. To do that she has to pay attention to her diet.

I want to lose weight, I have to begin to pay attention, I have to incorporate discipline into my eating schedule if I truly want to SUCCEED. As she put it to me yesterday: "Here is my non motivational quote: JUST DO IT!" There are many people in your life that you can look to for motivation, guidance and support. If you are looking for someone, pray about it. Ask God to bring the right people into your life. HE WILL and you will get the support you need to succeed.

The Thing About Exercise...

I hired a personal trainer. I did it because I knew that I needed someone pushing me. It was really easy to say no to myself, but to tell someone else no, wasn't going to be easy. Linda, my personal trainer is an athlete. I think she probably has zero body fat, she has a degree in bio-mechanics (which basically means she knows what muscles do, what food does to your muscles, etc), and she is retired military. I like her because she is a hard working, dedicated trainer, who cares about me as a person. She knows my limits, when she can push me, when I need to refocus, get back on track. And she has a great sense of humor. She cares about me.

This past weekend, I went on vacation. I missed two training days. And I realized that exercise is going to have to be consistent and part of my every day life. While it would be nice to have a trainer every day to make me work out, sometimes, that just isn't going to be possible, and since I am taking my weight and my life into my own hands, then its up to me to incorporate exercise into my my weekly routine and it can't just be two days a week with my personal trainer. Somehow, I have to find a way to build it in to my own personal time.

I went back to working out tonight, and it was hard getting back into it. It was as if my muscles were failing me. I was tired, lethargic, unmotivated. Consistency, routine and discipline will ensure that I am successful. Exercise with or without a trainer has to be a requirement in my life now.

Becaus I am WORTH MY WEIGHT. And I don't settle.

Things Change and Stay the Same

I began my training with a 30 minute session once a week. Within three weeks I realized I needed more. I increased it to 30 minutes 2X a week, and three weeks ago I added a Saturday group training session to the mix. Last week I contacted a Masters Swim Club to try and add that exercie to my weekly program. It's shocking to me considering I never really likes "REAL EXERCISE". I didn't like to sweat, didn't like the workout, but I think what really was going on was I was afraid, and I thought I could do it alone so I wouldn't have to deal with the thoughts and impressions of others.

Today, my trainer put me through an hour workout. And it was today that I realized even thought I have not lost weight, I feel thinner, more toned, more sure of my steps. My past is getting further away and my present is so much more closer to the surface. I am a woman who now believes that anything is possible. I am not stating that it can happen over night. I now know that anything worthwhile takes time, commitment and discipline. Time moves faster than we realize. Its how the weight came on, its how neglect takes over, and inspiration and motivation get lost.

But when we can be honest with ourselves, time can move the mountain. It can allow us to breathe, take the first step and not look back except to realize how far we have come.

Today I can walk up steps taking one step at a time.
Today my breathing is easier.
Today my sleep is more sound.
Today I have discipline in my life.
Today I am getting stronger.
Tomorrow there will be more.

4 months ago...

I couldn't walk up stairs normally. Four months ago, I could barely walk upstairs period. I could not walk for more than 10 minutes before giving up, I could not get out of chair without using my hands and arms to lift myself out of the chair. Four months ago I parked as close to the entrance as I could to anywhere I needed to go, I only went through drive through for goof because it was painful to get out of the car. Just four months ago, I didn't believe that it was possible to get better, strong, healthier or out of this predictament. I didn't think I could afford a trainer, or exercise and nutrition program, and yet I consistently went shopping for food I did not need, and clothes to hide my girth.

Today, I am stronger, and healthier. I am still heavy and I struggle in many different ways but I can get out of a chair, I can walk up a flight of stairs taking one step at a time (Yes, slowly) but I can do it. I don't have near as much back pain as I have had, my mood is better, and I can walk a mile, in fact, I can walk three!

Four months ago I hated exercise, sweat, discipline and being told what to do. Today, I am not necessarily a fan of an exercise regimin, but I do enjoy pushing myself to see how much more I can do. Its now a challenge for me. Sweating tells me I cam getting rid of the toxins in my body that zap my energy, and discipline makes it impossible for me to make excuses. Four Months, 120 days. Not much in the course of a lifetime. Something to think about.

I Hate to Exercise...

Or so I thought. (Grin here). I have always hated to sweat, didn't like to push myself beyond my limits. But an interesting thing happened as I began to MOVE. Just move. That was my personal trainer, Linda's goal. She said, "We just want to get you moving". That was our first goal. I was afraid to move. I had spent so much time trying to protect myself from the pain in my knees, the crippling pain in my back, the sweating that other people may see. I didn't want to fall in front of others, or not be able to do something, that I shied away from MOVING. And what a wonderful thing moving is. Because its easy, and its free, and you learn so much on the path. My "Moving" began when I started walking to take photographs of the birds, walking the simple trail with my husband, and then alone. Taking each step one at a time, sometimes getting down on my hands and knees to scoot from one step to the other.

By the time I started with the personal trainer, I could move, but my balance was bad, my hips hurt, my knees hurt. I complained, not too much (Another GRIN HERE), but I complained. I thought I knew my limits, but my personal trainer knew better. She pushes me to do one more, sometimes slips in a heavier a weight. But all in a way that makes me feel a part of the decision making process.

And I think that is what its really all about. We want to be part of our own change. We need to have a say in our growth and development. For me, my weight caused me to hold back, not always speak my piece. But as I began to tackle one problem after the other, I realized that only I am ultimately responsible for my successes and my failures.

An attitude that says "I hate to exercise" may be true at the time, but we should add, "I will do it anyway because I KNOW it will make me stronger". I think that our negative thoughts force us to figure out who we really are, what we really like and to move in the direction that makes us complete.

There are parts of exercise I do not like. Those that challenge my knees, those I have to do while laying on the floor because its so difficult to get up off the floor are on my top two list. I haven't ventured onto the floor yet in front of all those people. But I do the knee exercises anyway, because I know it makes me stronger.

Today, I was able to move from a sitting position into a standing one without using my hands to push me up. For many that may sound so simple, for me it is not. I don't mind the sweat anymore. It makes me feel like a part of this new healthy club. I am getting stronger each and every day, and those little extra challenges push me to move forward, to keep coming back.

Sometimes you just have to show up and do it anyway.

Looking Back.

I picked up a copy of the book "A Weekend to Change your Life" By Joan Anderson. Check out the copy in my Amazon Reading Section. It was kind of serendipitous as it kind of just jumped out at me while I was walking in the bookstore. She has written three books and I am currently on book number three! It took me less than a week to finish the first two. I bring this up because it caused me to look back at what has taken place over the past three years and realize that I indeed have accomplished a great deal. Its just that I sometimes don't give myself credit. It all started 3 years ago when I made the decision to quit drinking. I had struggled though AA, sponsors, a week of inpatient treatment, the works and nothing was working. I spent 24 hours angry and praying to God in my house one day and begged and challenged him to take it away from me. And he did. (More about that later) I don't want to give the impression that its easy and that it works just like that for everyone. But it was and still remains a miracle to me. I asked, he answered, I honor him every day because of it.

Two years later I was exhausted. I believe the alcohol had depleted all of my vitamins and minerals in my body. I was craving sugar like crazy, and tired ALL OF THE TIME. As a fat woman who has tried every diet, read everything there was on losing weight I honestly believed I was doing everything I could to eat right, and yet I was extremely exhausted. Getting up, going to work took all of my energy. The rest of the time was spent on a couch, or sleeping. It wasn't healthy and it wasn't the way I wanted to live. So, one day I woke up and vowed to track my calories and record everything I ate for one week. The first day when I could swear I was eating healthy, I totaled 4200 calories. The second day was no better, and so on. The meals weren't bad it was the level in which I was snacking, putting things in my mouth without paying attention.

I decided to hire a nutritionist and for four months we focused on increasing my energy levels, and getting my eating habits under control. It was helpful because I met with her once every other week and kept in touch and asked questions almost daily. Four months later (losing weight wasn't the goal, getting my energy back was the first goal), I had not lost weight, but the energy was back and I was ready to get moving.

I then hired a personal trainer. (Recommended by my nutritionist) Many of us think we can do this all on our own. We purchase a fitness club membership and never go, we work out at a pace that snails could beat and tell ourselves we are really working hard at it. A personal trainer, a nutritionist can see through the deception and call us on it. Of course all of this costs money, although we may be able to find a nutritionist and fitness help through our insurance, for me I found that what I had been spending on alcohol, fitness equipment, health magazines, health products added up to the investment. I was already spending a monthly payment to a nutritionist or fitness trainer on all this other stuff, including larger clothese!

For me, I needed the coach. Once I had the eating habits in place, my work with the nutritionist was over and I picked up a personal trainer 2 30 minute sessions a week. Later I added a Saturday morning group class.

Currently I am researching a Masters Adult Swim group, complete with a coach one night a week for about $150 for the Fall/Winter season. I share this because I have come to believe that we can't try to do it all at once nor all on our own. As a large woman, I have spent so much time avoiding places and people as if to hide myself, or make myself invisible. The truth is I am fat. But its not as bad out there as you think. There are people who want to help and have a genuine interest in working with you. And most people aren't looking at your fat butt, or the fact that you are a size 5x. They are mostly thinking about their own reasons for being there.

The difference between a franchise gym and personal trainer, is that you get one on one time in a much smaller setting. Usually there are never more than 15 people in the room at one time. You can tell the trainer what you can and can't do, they can help you with the pain. A good trainer doesn't want you to have chronic pain. And they will work with you at your pace.

So, my investment over the past 8 months has been about $350 per month. I feel better, I have more energy, and I am now picking up the pace with exercise. My balance is better, my mood more joyful. But it took some time. I didn't do it all at once. But I did do it one step at a time. I do think that it will take a full year for me to get into a pace where weight loss is gradual. But I feel stronger every day, my clothes are looser, my confidence in my abilities greater.

In her book, Joan Anderson asks us to look back over your year and map what we did while marking it if we did it for someone else, if we did it because we had to, if we enjoyed it or not and did it anyway, and what we did for ourselves.

I was quite happy when I realized that over the past year I had done more than I thought to take care of myself. Granted, there is still much work to do, but I know that if I tackle it one at a time, I will be successful. And when you achieve some success in one area of your life, you will want to try and achieve more.